How can we live in a world with a population in excess of 6 billion people and yet feel so absolutely alone at times. Has there ever been a generation so “lonely”? The void within us remains and many are asking the same question, “will I ever truly feel loved?”

A friend once asked me, “What is the number one purpose of a relationship?” From my belly I replied, “for growth”. I answered without thinking. He smiled. I knew it was a powerful truth and yet my answer evoked feelings I had long hoped to deny. Wasn’t it easier to just remain alone, to cocoon myself in familiarity and hide my heart away?

Community, the pressure of the boss, the annoyance of the coworker, the frustrations of family, spouse, children — without these, would we ever grow? What about the opportunities to exercise patience with the pitifully slow driver ahead of you when you’re already late, or the person in the checkout line counting out their change? These and countless other moments shape you and I, whether we’re aware or not. We choose to become either better or bitter. These moments invite us to leverage the virtues of patience and grace. Someday I too will forget the password to my Interac card, holding everyone up as I strain in embarrassment to remember the digits.

Relationship brings joy and hurt, suffering and stretching, selflessness and harsh realities. The loss of relationships, through death, divorce, poor health, brings feelings of rejection and abandonment. Many I’ve spoken with, including myself, have hidden from engaging in a relationship to avoid the inevitable – pain.

“I don’t wanna get hurt again”, “there’s no more room in my heart for disappointment” — sentiments I’ve heard from many people, that resonate with me as well.

And so I ask myself as I ask you now as you read this – if your heart is full of disappointment and it seems there’s nothing left within you to give, consider making more room. Empty the places that are taking up space, and make room for the joy, the laughter, the tenderness, the touch of another human life. For it is those ripples that will reach the unexpected places and be the strength you need to make even more room in a heart that longs to connect – to be seen and still received unconditionally. For it is in that vulnerability and transparency that courage anchors itself.

If there’s one thing I’ve realized it’s that being a “counsellor” means being an ally. It means believing in someone when they don’t have the energy or hope to believe in themselves. It’s carrying the light and being the support in a person’s dark walk through the valley of experiences. It’s about giving from a pure place that leaves a powerful message at the heart – you are not alone.

Every day I get to take that place, and in that refreshing, I too am refreshed. These people I sit with each day are beautiful, intricately woven with magnificent wondrous mystery. The brave but often beleaguered clients I meet with each day are more aware of life’s humbling process and in wanting and expectancy they step into that vulnerable place to make change. They take their place at the front of the battlefield to engage with me and confront what they may have been running from, what they may be burdened by. I believe this is the fundamental reason that they find hope, motivation, inspiration and the support they need to take one step closer to being their best version of them yet.